Life USA

R.I.P. George Carlin

“Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.” ~George Carlin


Favorite George Carlin bits:

  • Always do whatever’s next.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
  • When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat.
  • If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
  • The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
  • Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
  • If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?
  • Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
  • Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?
  • Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice?”

Click here to watch one of my favorite George Carlin bits: “Flamethrowers.”

American Bullshit Rant

Pure George – he was a special kind of genius.